Photos Revisited

Unable to sleep last night at 3am, I decided to go back and touch up a few older photos. Check out the album of Photos revisited by clicking here

Know your Audience

Time: 12:30am ish
Place: Some random German Engineer's Apartment
Event: My friend Elaine's going away party
Crowd: Me, Amanda, Amy, Elaine, A whole bunch of Germans, A couple of Taiwanese, some Norwegians, and A Musician from France.

So I'm good and drunk by this point, and I decide to wander out of the 'dancing' room where I was getting tired of doing my usual thing of mock dancing everyone. I leave behind me the blaring beat of 'Funkytown' and sander into the living room where the aforementioned French Musician has the entire room of about 15 people captivated. His musical talents on the clarinet, or saxophone, or whatever it was he was playing were definitely worthy of respect, and he deservedly received a good round of applause as he finished his piece.

So the applause stops, and there's this brief moment of silence. That perfect gap between the roaring round of applause, and people resuming their discussions. That split second of time that is just all to perfect to let go to waste. That golden moment where an aptly timed and delivered joke or witty remark would be thrust clearly upon the ears of the entire audience, making you the comical hit of the party. Someone had to take advantage and say something funny.

"Wow! The French are good for something!" I say. (Cue two hits of a snare followed by a cymbal).

It was perfect! The timing, the delivery, it was all perfect. The kind of delivery that should have had the entire party laughing in hysterics!

tap tap tap: Is this thing on?

What does Ryan get? Nothing but a bunch of blank faces staring at him in confusement as their ESL brains try to figure out what it was I was trying to say.

"What?" says Frenchy as he looks at me dumbfounded. He wants me to explain to him the meaning of what I just said. Did I like his music? Did I hate the French? Somehow the joke was just lost on everyone. Trying to explain to Frenchy and the crowd the beauty of my own sarcastic geniusness was hopeless; how I had, in one single remark, both complemented him on his music while making fun of the entire history of French civilization at the same time. They just weren't gonna get it.

My lesson learned: ESL crowds don't make good audiences for my sarcastic wit.

long Overdue

I think I’m getting soft. I painted my bedroom and bought nice sheets. I haven’t been drunk in over 2 months and my upcoming vacation will be less than a month long. I’ve been doing some deep thinking about my future financial affairs. What is happening to me?

Lately I’ve been beginning to scare myself. I know it’s been a while since I’ve written anything, and perhaps its time I filled everyone in on what’s new. I was going to write this in the theme of another long, drawn out, deep reflection on life, but I decided instead to spare you all the agony. I’ll save that part for my book.

The trouble with not writing for a while is that I let so much stuff build up that it becomes a chore to sum it all up. So I continue to put it off until finally I just decide to sit down and write one of these half assed summaries because I’m too lazy to write everything I’ve wanted to write for the last month or so.

So what is new with Ryan? Well, the kittens are gone. One was adopted, two were given to an animal shelter, and one of them was lost during a tragic little ‘incident’. Mom (sadly, she never got a proper name) was fixed and released back onto the streets. As sad as it sounds, I think that is what is best for her. She seemed happy to be released into the gardens around our old apartment. That is where she belongs.

Amanda and I are now living in a new apartment. We now only have to walk up 60 stairs instead of 66. I’m still blown away every day by the convenience of a refrigerator. Funny how you can live with an amenity for 24 years, go without it for 5 months, and then be astonished at its convenience again in a form of appreciation you never had for the last 24 years.

I have a bedroom with a giant king sized bed, a balcony, a TV, and an ensuite bathroom. I painted the walls a bluish-green and bought sheets to match. Together, it all adds up to be the nicest bedroom I’ve ever had. Amanda thinks my décor is ugly because it’s something her mom would love, therefore she can’t possibly admit to liking it. She prefers the blinding beams of yellow and ‘supernova’ orange paint in her room that penetrate your cornea and knock out a few retinas every time you hit the light switch.

My job is winding down to an end. Only 2 more weeks with the little shitheads and I’m done. I’m not quite sure about my future at the same school next year, as enrollment is down and there will be fewer classes next year, therefore less teaching positions. I’m crossing my fingers that the numbers stay above 11 in one of the 2nd grade classes, in which case that would be my class. It would be nice to have a small class of grade two’s who still like their teacher and don’t swear at him in Chinese, throw things at him, or mutter death threats under their breath.

I’m still trying to accept the fact that I only get a month off for vacation this summer. I know by normal people’s standards working 4 months and then getting one month off seems like a sweet deal, but I expect more for myself. Anyway, one month will have to suffice, and I have chosen to spend it in Malaysia and Singapore. I will be flying into Singapore with Amanda and Amy on the 6th of July. There we will meet up with my friend Lenny from Victoria, and then we will make our way into southern Peninsular Malaysia to meet up with my friend Ming in his hometown of Muar. Sound too much like a planned travel itinerary for solo backpacker Ryan? Well, that’s what I thought too. So I booked a roundtrip flight from Johor Bahru to northern Sabah, where I will finally step foot on one of the most amazingly diverse islands in the world: Borneo. It’s just a shame that I only get 2 ½ weeks there before I have to fly home to Taiwan to either start working at my current school, or begin the job hunt.

I don’t really know what I will accomplish in my short stop on Borneo, but I’m going to attempt to climb the highest mountain in SE Asia, do some scuba diving in world renowned dive sites, and explore some ancient rainforests at the very least.

So that’s the scoop on my life here in Taiwan. I’m sorry for being lazy and not keeping in touch with you all through phone or emails. I’m sorry for neglecting my blog and not putting in the effort to ‘entertain the masses’ on a daily basis anymore. I haven’t forgotten about any of you and I do miss you all. Anyone for Borneo in July?

This has been the word according to Scurvy…

PS. Happy Fathers Day Dad! I had no idea it came and went already. I guess they don’t celebrate it here?

Also, here is a link to some photos some of you may not have seen yet:
Sunsets 'n Stuff